Funny kid!

Lili: Where are we going now mommy?
Me: To the craft store.
Lili: To the "crap" store?
Me: Uh....yeah...the crap store!

The Things Kids Say

Our kids have not been exposed much to the opposite sex. Sure they have boys that they play with but since they don't have a brother they have never seen one... in the buff. Last summer we went to visit my sister who has a little boy Matthew who is about 2. He was in the habit of taking off his diaper and running around in his birthday suit while we were there. That was Lili's first real lesson in human anatomy. She never really made much mention of it. She just looked at him kind of funny and I told her that boys and girls are different. That was that and nothing more was said.

Last night she was in the bathroom washing her hands with daddy when she says: "I don't have a mustache." "Nope, you're right." says daddy. Lili: "I don't have something living in my bottom but Matthew does." So either she doesn't know how to describe what she saw or she actually thinks it's alive. I hope it is the former otherwise we could have a real problem on our hands.

My Ode to Josh

Those of you who know me well know that I am a true blue fan of Josh Groban. I would even consider myself a Grobanite even though I have not paid the $40 fee to actually join the fan club since I have never felt rich enough to do so. Believe me, if I had the money to join I would. Only my dear hubby knows how disappointed I was to not be able to go to his concert over the summer. I even secretly cried about it. Again it was a money issue (I hate money sometimes, or not having it). The last concert I did attend was when I was pregnant with Lili and it was a Josh Groban concert. It was the best concert I've been to and well, I've been to a few in my day. I'm sure that if I were a teenager I would have Josh Groban posters pasted all over my bedroom. When I was barely pregnant with Lili Josh came out with his second album which I went to buy the morning of the day it came out. I listened to it hundreds of times during those nine months that Lili was in the womb. I would even put it in my CD player and blast it through the headphones placed on my belly just to see what baby's reaction was. The result? She loved it and was born a Josh Groban fan.

Yesterday while at Target I passed by the music section. I have known that Josh came out with a Christmas album which I have been highly anticipating. I have wanted to buy it since it came out but again, no money to blow on a CD. Plus I figured that at the time it was a little early to start listening to Christmas music, at least that's what I told myself to ease the pain of not being able to buy the CD. So yesterday I did it. I just couldn't wait any longer and since Halloween is now over I figure it's fair game for Christmas stuff. Even Lili was excited when she saw the CD. "Mommy, it's JOSH GROBAN." (said in a very excited fashion.) We put the CD in as soon as we got to the van. I turned it up as loud as Lili and Sofie would allow (they often complain about the music being too loud or not being able to hear it. kids.) . I was not disappointed in the least. What I had been longing for for years had finally come to pass. What is better than hearing your favorite music sung by your favorite singer? The first song on the album is Silent Night. I couldn't help but be moved to tears listening to his beautiful rendition. I know, I know, what is my problem? What is my infatuation with Josh? I'm not sure. I think it's just that I love music. I always have. It is what most speaks to my heart. I have music on all the time at home and in the car. And well, Josh has a beautiful voice and it makes me feel good when I listen to it. It soothes me and lifts my spirits. If nothing else I'm grateful that he was discovered and is able to share is gift with the world. I know that my world is a much better place with Josh's music in it.

Compassion

Today I have been feeling a little stressed. Stressed because there was a lot going on today, my house is a mess, it's almost Halloween, we are still waiting for our job offer to arrive etcetera etcetera. After an already long day of activities we journeyed out to run some errands. Not exactly my favorite thing to do on a Saturday but sometimes necessary. We got home and were unloading groceries when Sofie decides to have a meltdown. She was quite intent on having us go on a ride in the stroller but as I mentioned, no can do because we had a load of groceries in hand to take inside. The meltdown continued for several minutes. As I was already feeling a bit stressed amongst my other emotional issues of the day, I myself felt the need for a meltdown. So upstairs I went to give myself a timeout and a good cry to let it all out. I always seem to feel a lot better if I can have a good cry, don't you? I've heard that it's good because it releases toxins. Anyway, as I'm having my timeout/meltdown/bawl session I hear my girls coming up the stairs. I knew it was only a matter of a few moments before they found me. Sure enough their radar was impeccable. There they were clamoring onto the bed within seconds. I assumed I would just get more whining and crying on their part but was surprised when the following happened:

Lili laid down next to me and said,"mommy, why are you sad? I don't want you to be sad. It's alright." Then I turned my head and my dear sweet little Sofie put her little hand to my face and began stroking my cheek all the while saying "is arigh, is alrigh mommy." She kept rubbing my cheek and saying it over and over. Lili then sang me "Jesus wants me for a Sunbeam" to help me feel better. My tears of frustration and self pity turned into tears of joy. How on earth was I blessed with such wonderful caring babies?

It always seems that when I am in my darkest moments and feeling awful that it is then that I am reminded of the wonderful gift I've been given and what the true source of joy is. Who cares if my house is a mess and we have no money to even pay our bills? That stuff is temporal. My beautiful family is eternal and I am oh so grateful to have them, meltdowns and all.

Popularity

Growing up I always wanted to be popular. Who doesn't? I wanted to be in, hip, cool, I wanted hair like Kellie McGillis in Top Gun (That was the must have hair style when I was in 7th grade). I wanted the coolest clothes Benetton, Esprit and of course a pair of Tretorns (if you don't know what those are then you must not have grown up in the 80's). I did get the tretorns and had my signature Benetton bag oh, and of course my GUESS jeans. That was what you had to have to be popular in those days. Of course, having all that name brand stuff got me nowhere in the popularity circles. Sure I had friends but I didn't have "the" friends. Looking back I don't think it would've been possible for me to be popular when I was a choir and drama geek. Maybe in some schools you can be cool and be in choir but it wasn't that way in mine.

As I got older my level of "popularity" didn't matter to me as much. Especially once I got to college. Actually, what I think it was was that I actually had friends, a lot of them, and it didn't matter to anyone really what you wore. Finally there were no more clicks and I had somewhat gotten over my need to feel accepted by "cool" people. I say somewhat because of course I still wanted to be accepted by "cool" guys. Who doesn't want that when they are 19?

When I was dating "I" I don't think I felt a need any longer to be so popular. All I wanted was to be with him so it didn't matter so much how many friends I had. Don't get me wrong, I have always thought of my friends as important, just at that time "I" fulfilled most of my social needs.

So now we come to today. I am again feeling the need to be popular. I have been tracking my blog and I realize that pathetically, no one reads it. OK, like 3 people read it. I am considering going public again. Maybe it would help me feel more popular if even an occasional lurker read my blog. Anyway, if you do read it will you please post a comment so I can feel some love. I need some love people!

p.s. Here's a pic of the infamous Tretorns

Patience

I recently read a post that a friend of mine wrote on her blog about not being able to wait for anything and I was amazed at how much alike we are. My mother used to always say how impatient I was and that I was always in a hurry to grow up. When I was little I guess it made her sad to have me be in such a hurry. She wanted me to stay a little girl as along as possible. I have to admit that my lack of patience has always been my downfall. I am always wanting things to happen on my timetable. Like getting my drivers license (I failed twice before I passed on try number 3 and was 16 and a half before I got it!), or having my first date or first kiss (I won't tell you how old I was for that but let's just say I waited a LONG time!). I couldn't wait to get married but oh how my patience was tried in this department. Not only was I 28 when I got married but I had been dating Ivan for nearly 3 years when it happened. I think he just wanted me to learn more patience on that one.

Then of course came the time for having a baby which again I had to wait for. After nearly a year of trying we finally got pregnant with Lili. I really do have a hard time with this patience thing. I always like to look ahead at what my life will be like when.....(when I'm married, when I have kids, when we are done with school, you get the idea.)

About a year ago I started with this fantasy of what my life would be like when we graduated. I had it all planned out. Ivan would graduate in April, GM would call us a few weeks later and we'd be moving to MI by June. Ivan would start a design job there and we would live happily every after in Sterling Heights. This was my plan. I knew it had to work. Why wouldn't it? Ivan had worked so hard and had impressed a couple of big wigs at GM so why not? So thus far none of my plans have worked out in the least. Instead of getting a phone call from GM we instead lost the job we had. We spent 4 months unemployed and scraping the bottom of the barrel when it came to money. We have had trial after trial of our faith and still, no call from GM. OK, that's not entirely true. We have gotten calls from GM but unfortunately there is just no budget to hire us at this time. During all of this time Ivan has worked overtime on getting his portfolio out and applying for other design jobs. Frustration set in about July I think when we still had gotten no interviews other than an occasional phone contact. Then, it happened, a phone call from a company in San Antonio, TX. They wanted to fly Ivan out for an in person interview. Hallelujah! It wasn't the job we were hoping for but it was something.

Since then we have been anxiously awaiting any news and hoping that something would come of this ONE interview. About 2 weeks ago we got a phone call from Ivan's would be boss saying that an offer letter was on the way. YIPPEE!!! We were so excited to find out what it entailed. Everyday I checked the mail several times but when 5 days had passed and no offer I started to wonder. Again, another phone call. "Um, yeah, sorry, the offer hasn't been sent because it needed to be sign by so and so who is out of town....blah blah blah..., should be in the mail in the next couple of days." Hmm....so again we waited...nothing.....another 6 days had passed and nothing. So today the story was "oh, yeah, um....it hasn't been sent yet because so and so and so and so need to sign it first which won't happen until tomorrow" AHHHH!!! Can we just say that I have definitely now lost my patience. I mean really, does the CEO really have to sign off on a offer for an entry level design job?? OK, maybe he does, but still. I think that this perhaps is another lesson for me in patience. I hate being patient!! Ivan and I watched this movie the other night where God has a role (OK, Morgan Freeman has a role playing God) and he says something like "If we pray for patience, do you think God gives you patience or does he give you the opportunity to be patient?" Only problem is that I never prayed for patience. (I know better than that!!)

Facebook

I think I have found a new hobby. I don't know why really I am a little obsessed with facebook but it has become my new favorite thing. So what if it's mostly used by teens and college kids, I'm not that old right? I think my obsession stems from the ability to look up people. I LOVE looking up old friends and finding out what's going on in their lives. At this point however I have not found very many of them (although, I know some of them must be there). Speaking of friends, I can not believe how many "friends" some of these people on facebook have. I saw a girl with almost 700 "friends". How on earth does one obtain so many friends and how would you know all of them really? I can't quite figure it out. Perhaps this really is just because I'm jealous of all the friends people have. I am at a measly 13 right now. That's pretty pathetic. One day I aspire to having more than 13, perhaps I could even reach 20, yes, 20 friends could be my goal. So if you're on facebook please, please look me up so we can be friends and you can help me obtain my goal! (I really am pathetic aren't I?)