I Knew It

Six months ago I would have been feeling overwhelming joy at the thought of leaving Utah. I had come to a place in my life where I was "done" with Utah. Or in particular, Utah County. Don't get me wrong, it had it's moments. I met my husband there, my babies were born there, I had great friends there and many other wonderful memories from my college days. It's just that I had out grown it in a sense. Provo is the youngest city in the US and with me being the 30 something that I am I felt like an old woman. There is a certain sense of immaturity that goes along with the young age base there as well and that was what annoyed me the most. Yes, I would have thrown a party six months ago, danced in the streets and shouted for joy from my roof top had we gotten this job then.

I knew though that the Lord wanted to teach me to love Utah. I knew he would wait until I would be sad to leave before he would let me leave. He would wait for me to not want to leave and then He would make me leave. That is exactly what has happened. When we moved to Grantsville 6 months ago I came kicking and screaming. I did not want to move here, nope, not one bit. I wanted what I wanted and that was a great job in some great place far a way from Utah. Instead I was getting Grantsville. I didn't understand it at the time but now I do. There were reasons I had to come to this place. Things I had to learn and relationships I had to develop. My children needed to get to know their cousins and my husband and I needed all the free babysitting they provided. We all needed this place. So now, yes, I am sad to leave. I have made great friends, been in a great ward with a wonderful bishop and grown to love my dear sweet sister even more. I had to learn all the things I was taught in our "Monday" group and I had to learn to love myself again.

Turns out that I am indeed grateful I came to this place. I hate to go. I hate to leave the wonderful friends I've made here. I am sad that I have to leave Utah. I feel though that all of my time here was for an even greater purpose. I feel I was being prepared to go out into the world to be an influence for good. Perhaps I was learning what I have learned so I can teach my sisters in Wisconsin. Who knows, but I do know that the Lord knows best. He sees the big picture and he is in control. I know that he pours out blessings on us even when we don't recognize them as such. How blessed I feel that He saw fit to have us wait so long for that "dream" job because in all that time He was teaching and preparing us and blessing us immensely. And in the end He did give us just was we wanted. Perhaps even more.