My cry for help!

(Again, read at your own risk! BTW, this is not meant to offend anyone who may be taking Prozac or any other type of anti depressant. It's just me being....a bit sarcastic.)

I've decided that I need to start taking Prozac. I just can't seem to figure any other way to get out of this funk that I'm in. I mean really, I've gone a little loony I think. Does crying yourself to sleep every night fall under the category of being depressed? What about bursting into tears every time I see a Florida or Texas license plate? (Which it seems happens every time I go out. Why are so many Texans living in Provo?) And never mind the fact that I have the desire to sit in front of the TV every night with a carton of ice cream to drown my sorrows in. Not that I eat a carton of ice cream every night...I just have the desire to. So yes folks..I do believe I can be considered depressed or at least a little off my rocker.

Those of you who know me know that I'm kind of anti doctor and anti meds so I'm looking for some suggestions on how to get out of this stupor. Please no "eat healthy and exercise" crap, I already know that. What I'm looking for are .....ideas for things to do to distract me at least. So anyone got any brilliant ideas? Please please please tell me. I'm crying out for help here people! And if I don't get any I may just wind up being committed.

Why?

(Note to all readers: This post is meant for therapeutic reasons only on the part of the author. If you choose to read this post you may be subjecting yourself to negativity and cynicism. Read at your own risk.)

Why? That is a question I have been asking myself a lot lately. Why aren't we moving to Florida? Why not Texas either? Why on earth did we just spend the last 3 and a half years sacrificing our time and money (that we didn't have) to finish school when we are in the same place we were 3 years ago? Why does everyone else get a job right after graduating and we are still stuck here? Why did we get ourselves into a ton of student loan debt going through school only to be making the same we would've been making had we stayed at our job that we had before going to school? Why do we have to still be poor? Why do some people get flat screen TV's and Wii's for Christmas and we have to take back all of our presents in order to pay our electricity bill etc...? Why doesn't GM have a contract job for us? Why have we not seen the fruit of our labors? Why are we stuck in such a state of non progression? WHY have I been sentenced to life in Utah? (sorry to all my Utah friends, that's not to offend you, I just would rather live somewhere else.)

Why? Why? Why? I have not come up with the answer to any of these questions as of yet. I am hoping that soon I will receive some answers so that I can get some sleep and stop feeling so depressed over all of this.

Other things that are happening in my world: Sofi is driving us all nuts. I now believe there really is a thing called the terrible 2's. I deal with her temper tantrums all day everyday. I'm about to pull my hair out. God help me!

Also, we got a cat. We rescued her from the shelter. We love her, she is the best cat ever. She's quiet and well mannered and tolerates the kids. I was going to post about her and put a picture but I can't find the cord to upload my pictures to the computer. Argg!

I hope this post wasn't too much of a downer. I guess I need all of my friends to know just what I'm going through right now. I promise to try and post something better next time.

Resolution # 3

I thought that maybe I might give up blogging. It seems lately that I can't come up with anything to blog about nor does it seem that I have to the time to blog either. However after reevaluating the situation and seeing as I have quite the international audience, I have decided instead to make it a goal to blog at least twice a week this year. We'll see how I do. It may work for a couple of weeks and then wind up in the pooper like all of my resolutions seem to do but at least I will have given it a go.

While we are on the subject of resolutions, another one of mine this year is to be more frugal. By choice not by necessity. I have had to be frugal for the past several years with Ivan in school and me being at home with my babies. It has not always been fun but out of necessity I have been able to come up with a couple of good meals that have now become staples in our family. Making things that everyone will like, OK, that Lili and Sofi will like, is quite the chore sometimes. The other day I stewed most of the day over what I would make for dinner. Mostly because I did not want to go to the store or spend money on food until absolutely necessary. I took inventory of what I had on hand and came up with a great idea. The result was a a great little mexican chicken thing to put in tortillas. I thought it was yummy........my girls did not. Well, actually, they were repulsed by the sight of it. Wouldn't even try it.

Our dinner went something like this: Sofi: "boo hoo hoo. Wa Wa Wa!"
Daddy: "Lili, eat your food. It's really yummy."
Lili: "NO!! I DON'T WANT TO!"
Mommy: "Sniff Sniff." (feeling depressed because no one liked what she worked so hard to make)
This basically went on for 20 minutes or so. We had quite the Super Nanny moment. I was mad and feeling like a failure as a mom. After all, I was doing my best to make something yummy and healthy with what we had and not spend money that we don't.

After the girls were in bed that night I came downstairs and turned on the TV to veg and forget about my sorrows. So what show happens to be having it's season premier? None other than Super Nanny! It took about 10 minutes for me to snap out of my doldrums and realize that I am not the worst mom in the world. No sir, there are plenty that are worse off than I am. I suppose I am doing OK if an occasional unwelcome meal is the worst thing that happens. Needless to say though, the next day I made sure to get a few things at the store and we had a very well received spaghetti dinner last night. So for now I will put my "black bean and chicken mexicana" recipe in the archives and maybe pull it back out when my children are old enough to appreciate such fine cuisine.